Lil Lil is tiny.
No, like really tiny.
She was just referred to a specialist to see what might be causing her to NOT grow.
I can tell you why, she made a deal with the Fairy Queen! All her teeth (loose or not) to stay tiny and adorable forever. I know its true, the real reason is too hard for me to think about.
My Lil Lil, sweet, adorable, tiny, sparkling Lil Lil. You see her and melt and she knows it. Her smile is like breath to those that are hurting. Her tiny voice is dripping with sugar and sprinkled in glitter. 
Her big brown eyes grab a hold of your heart and you will do anything she asks. Her tiny hands reach for you and you are filled with joy that she wants you to hold them. Oh how easy it is for her to find favor in any room she walks into. Oh how she takes that favor and twists it into a crazy ball of chaos. Lil Lil is the youngest of five, she was born to a woman who needed drugs during her pregnancies. Thus the real reason Lil Lil is so tiny, her birth person caused it. When she was a little over a year old she was rescued from her birth home and went into foster care. The couple whose home she and two siblings were placed into treated her like their own little china doll. She was held 24/7, allowed to act and do whatever she wished, “too cute to say no to”, and was treated like she was favored above the rest until she was three years old. Now, at 7, she cannot understand why she can’t stab the dog and not have us tell her how adorable it is. She refuses to admit she can read, acts like 1+1 still baffles her, she will walk up to a perfect stranger, hold her arms up, and say “up” in her best baby voice. Lil Lil wishes to be a baby still. 
Looking at her standing near her siblings you would think she was still a baby. You wouldn’t think that she is an extremely smart little girl about to go into the second grade. Looking at her little size 4T body you wouldn’t think that she is old enough to plan out her next diabolical attack on her big brother. Looking at her toothless smile you wouldn’t think she pulled three teeth out that weren’t loose because of the sticker she got for the loose one. No, you would think she is the cutest little thing you’ve ever seen, and you would be right she is adorable. Disney channel worthy. GAP model like. She is a cutie I cannot deny it. She is also a hurting little girl who uses her tiny to hide it.
We have come a long way these last three years. My little trauma baby has grown emotionally even if not physically. Her three-letter diagnoses has rotated a few times but the underlying issue has remained the same. Trauma, it all comes down to that. The biting has stopped, she rarely pulls her hair out anymore, and she hasn’t stood in one spot repeating herself over and over for forty-five minutes in a very long time. However, she still will choose negative behavior over positive, she cannot stand to have anyone else receive ANY attention over her, she struggles with doing what she is asked (even if she wants to do it), and she cries when you tell her she isn’t a baby anymore. Her fairy mind control could make Luke Skywalker come over to the dark side and she is a master at pushing all our buttons at just the right time. She knows when to strike in public to make those around her ooo and aahh over her adorable little size. She is excited when those strangers look at us like we are crazy when we ask them to not pick her up or encourage her baby-like behaviors. Oh the joy she feels when she can get her big brother to look like a big ole meanie in front of all the little 8th grade girls she has suckered into carrying her around. 
Yet even he is not immune to her powers of cuteness. We all fall under her spell from time to time. As I watched her running around at the town concert last night I was brought out of the world of trauma for just a moment. I saw her laughing and playing with kids her age and they weren’t carrying her like a doll. Then it hit me, the day is coming that she will no longer need to feel like a baby to feel loved and important. The day is nearing that she will be comfortable with growing up. I can see the light at the end of this tunnel. I will win the battle with the fairy queen. My genius minion will figure out growing up isn’t the worst thing in the world, she is starting to let go and so I write……
soshewritesweb 