I am overwhelmed with sadness as I sit and write this. I was up most of the night watching the hate unravel in Dallas as the numbers of senseless deaths rose. I watched it. Live on Fox News, the camera went to the lifeless protectors after shots rang out. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, I looked at my friend and asked “are those cops on the ground?” Then the anchor said in shock and horror that they would not show the bodies of fallen police officers. I was in shock and disgust. What has our world come to? Or has it always been this way? In between watching the news and cooking dinner I was navigating the hurt that my little one had caused a neighbor and I was overwhelmed with a hopeless emotion. What hope do my kids have of healing in a world so full of hate and anger? Why does it feel like the world is on fire? Then they hit me, the words of a speaker I had just listened to. “Hurt people hurt people.”
This world is full of hurt people. It has been since Adam and Eve were cast out of the garden. Since Cain killed Abel. Since always. We have always been a people of hurt. We have always lashed out at others through our hurt, some more than others. This is an undeniable truth but how have we been able to overcome these hurts in the past? Have we overcome our hurts? I have to look to my kids, what hurts have they been dealt? Have we been able to help them get past these hurts, or just suppress them? I sat across from both my son and daughter at their therapy this morning and watched as they each reacted different to the therapist explain what we would be working on to help them heal. My daughter began to cry and admitted she didn’t really want to continue because it was not fun. My son sat and looked at his would be healer and said yes, he is ready. the hurt he carries is finally too heavy for his little shoulders and he wants to give it up. My daughter on the other hand doesn’t want to do the work it will take her to heal, she wants others to do it for her as she has fun somewhere else.
There it is, the ingredient to change: Desire or Want to change
So I wonder, what would the world look like if we all wanted or desired it to be changed? I think back to the interviews of those around the horrific scene of downtown Dallas and I know there are two types of people who come out of these moments. One was a guy who spoke of what he saw. A man in the crowd carrying a gun and then how he heard shots. He said there were shots that came from the crowd of protesters and then the police shot into the crowd. The news caster asked if he was sure they came from the crowd and if the cops shot back, he said with anger in his eyes that yes the cops shot at them. Then there was a man who said the shots came from above and as the police fell others ran to protect the crowd. He was full of a different type anger, a kind that was awed that as fellow officers lost their lives those still standing rose to the call and protected the innocent. Both men were of the same ethnic background, both men stood feet from where 5 lives were lost defending the right to protest, and both men showed their hearts. One wanted to spread fear, one wanted to spread a wake-up call. I am almost certain that both at one point in time had been hurt by just being them, one chose to find a way to heal. I know, strong statement coming from just watching an interview but I know hurt in the eyes of those I look into, I know the look of a victim angered, after all I have three living in my home. 
Each has a different look in their eyes. One has a look of hurt surrounded by the fear of letting go of the control that anger gives her. One has the look of hurt surrounded by the shame that should not be his to carry and engulfed by the fear of what others will think of him if they truly know that hurt. One has a look of hurt surrounded by a high of power that hurt gives her to hurt others, that is the scariest look of hurt I have seen. I see it in those that spread hurt and hate on TV these days. I look into the eyes of my three wounded babies and I hurt with them. I hurt from not being able to go back and protect them from their pasts. I hurt every time I see them hurt each other do to those past hurts. I hurt every time I see them hurt by outsiders that don’t understand them and in turn fear what they don’t understand. How do I stop the hurt though? How do I teach them to love in spite of their hurts when all around them there are unsafe situations that threaten to cause them more hurt?
I fall back to the foot of the cross. In this world we were not promised a life without troubles, in fact it is quite the opposite. We were told in this life we would have hurts and yet we are called to love those that hurts us. Why? Because God knows that hurt people hurt people and he wants to offer hope and healing. Look around you, we are all surrounded by hurting people. We all have the opportunity to spread love or more hurt. 
I have a reason to spread love, well actually I have four reasons. I cannot choose to spread more hurt and anger and then expect my children to be happy healed adults. We are a small tribe in this vast world of hurting people. We are part of the few who have said yes to the hope offered by Christ and I pray that we each will be able to see the hurting and try to show them love. I pray that my little hurt people will no longer hurt people. I will continue to encourage them to choose the change that will bring healing, I will continue to choose to forgive those that hurt them so badly in their past lives and I will choose to forgive those that will hurt them in their future lives. That is all each of us can do. Desire change. Spread love. Pray for a world all our children can grow up safety in. I cannot control their hurt, I can only choose to not hurt back when they strike out at me, and so I write……….
soshewritesweb 