Through pain comes healing

Every little boy thinks he needs a dog. At the earliest of ages they begin to ask for a furry best friend. My son was no different. When he was five I started to help some friends with their new pet shop. I took my little guy with me and he loved helping while playing with all the little puppies. It wasn’t long before he had connected to a sweet little brown-eyed Peke-A-Tese, it wasn’t long before I was in love with him as well. We brought MoJo home to live with us and loved him more everyday. From day one MoJo was attached to his boys hip. They slept together, he waited at the door for the big yellow collector of kids to spit him back out, and would go running around the house when you would ask him where his boy was. MoJo thought he was a human and acted as though he was the protector and comforter of his big brother. They had many grand adventures together and enjoyed each other every second of the day. Our son was happy with his puppy and our puppy was in love with his boy.

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There wasnt a day that went by that MoJo wasnt happily wagging his tail asking to go where ever we were going. He knew the second his boy put his shoes on that it was time to go on a new adventure and he would run to the door jumping in excitement. He went on family vacations, hiking trips, camping trips, trips to the store, every morning to drop his boy off at school, and walks to the park. He was a joy to have around. After five years of becoming the best of friends with his puppy our son began to ask when his sister was coming, so we added a little girl to our family and MoJo welcomed her joyfully. Our calm and loyal puppy became an indicator of when our new little precious was about to blow. Before we knew it we had a daughter that was a Reactive Attachment kiddo and we sat through meetings learning what we might be looking at, and suddenly we had a worry that our little pal might be in danger. We learned that with R.A.D. there were two ways she could be affected. One was violent and hurt animals before moving into hurting those around her, or the other would be she could just struggle with outburst of rage without hurting anyone but herself. Turned out she would have outbursts of rage and only hurt herself. MoJo became a calm for her, she became attached to him and enjoyed his playful and loyal nature. He welcomed her with love and joy, and she in turn was calm around him. We thought he was safe and would enjoy a long and  happy life. Turns out our second little angel that would join our family would be the one that hurt him.  Our littlest was welcomed in the same manner as Syd. MoJo was excited to have someone so close to his size to play with and we had no reason to believe he wouldn’t be treated with the same love from her. The truth came out pretty quickly, she could not be trusted alone with animals. After being stabbed in the back with sticks and kicked down the stairs full force our little guy was rushed to the Vet only to be told that he now had a ruptured disk that quickly turned into a spinal disease. MoJo hung in there for three years after his injuries and loved every person in our home. He was loyal to the end and continued to help heal our oldest daughter. It has been but a week since we had to say goodbye to our furry friend and even through his passing he has helped to heal my little girl.

The night we had to say good-bye my daughter wrapped her arms around my shoulders and hugged me. She held me as I mourned the loss of our beloved pet. She saw the hurt and recognized the need for comforting. She saw someone other than herself, in that moment she was able to genuinely feel loss and was able to react in a way that those with R.A.D. find it hard to do. There were real tears shed, real feelings shown, a real comfort given. No stiff body, no distant and empty stares, no fight for attention, and no battle for control. In the time she had been here she found a friend in MoJo and when she lost that friend she was able to show true emotion. She didn’t search for a chance to receive attention, she didn’t search for a way to rub in the hurt her brother felt, she didn’t try to steal the moment with a melt down. No, she showed healing. In that moment of feeling her little arm around my shoulder in real concern I felt bitter-sweet feelings. It took the loss of our family pet to break the final barrier down that my daughter had been hiding behind. On one hand I had to say goodbye to my sweet little pal, but on the other hand I was holding my daughter in a real embrace. In that moment of pain and loss came healing.

We have had a pretty hard week, I didn’t expect to be as broken up as I have been. I knew my son would be devastated and that the other three might be sad for a couple of days, but I had no real idea that the loss of our MoJo would send us all into a tailspin of hurt and healing. His little presence was one of calm and joy and without him here we are all at a loss, but we are all one step closer to being whole. We miss our little guy and we thank him for being such a loyal and joyful healer of the hurting. It isn’t often you come across a dog that is as feeling and smart as this guy was. These kinds of puppies come far and few between, but we found him or he found us and we are better because of the unconditional love he showed us all. Even the little one that hurt him the most. Our world is one of hurt and healing, ebbs and flows, ups and downs and for a time this little guy was able to turn or downs into ups, our hurts into healing, and our sadness into joy. He has proven that a hurt child with R.A.D. can heal, can feel, can love, can attach, and so I write……….